6 Ways to Deal With Your Narcissistic Boss

6 Ways to Deal With Your Narcissistic anfhrer Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is almost as hard to deal with in the workplace as it is infamily orintimate relationships. The most difficult situation is when your babo is a narcissist, because not only are you forced into close contact with your babo every day, but you are dependent on them for your income.When your boss is unpredictable, self-centered, and easily upset, you might develop something akin to aPTSD response when you go into work each day. You are terrified of being insulted, shamed in front of coworkers, overlooked for opportunities, or even fired. Fortunately, though, there are ways to deal with your narcissistic boss that may allow you to survive and even thrive at work.1. Moderate Your ExpectationsYour boss might not care if you are sick and will not remember your wedding is in June. Nor will he/she be sorry for calling you at 9 p.m. on a Friday night. Dont keep expecting them to have boundaries or re asonable demands. This strategy doesnt mean you have to comply with irrational requests. If you recognize and accept that irrational requests will continue to be made, however, youll end up feeling less stressed and angry.2. Treat Your Boss How They Want to Be Treated (Within Reason)This tactic doesnt mean running to get them a cup of coffee every time they asks, but take careful note of how your boss represents themselves to you and to others. If, for example, your boss considers themself a high-ranking person, dont suggest that a meeting be set up at Starbucks. Propose a high-end meeting place.The mora you pretend to see your boss for who they try to be, the easier things will go for you. Be sure you dont genuinely drink the Kool Aid, though.3. Remember the Details of Their Personal LifeMost coworkers dont expect you to know the names of their children, but a narcissistic boss will never forgive you if you dont remember little Susies name and that she is really into tennis. If yo ur memory isnt great, write some notes on a document so you can remember the details.4. Accept ResponsibilityDont accuse your boss of failing to do something or of doing anything wrong. Rather than saying, You didnt tell me you wanted that presentation by today, say, Im sorry, I thought it was due Tuesday. Although you may thinkowning mistakes will give your boss mora ammunition to later criticize your performance, it is much better than coming off as defensive. Narcissists will rarely admit they are wrong, so do not try explicitly or implicitly to make your boss recognize their own error.5. Dont Complain to Coworkers, Unless They Are Close Personal FriendsNarcissists maintain power by being alternately very nice and very mean. The same coworker that grumbled to you about your boss narcissism on Monday may rat you out if the boss treats him to lunch on Tuesday. It may be tempting, but dont gossip about your boss. Save your venting for friends, family, or atherapist.6. Look Up Alte rnate JobsThesetips may only help you for so long, depending on the level of toxicity in the situation. You dont have to remain in the position youre in, and going over your boss head to complain might have bad consequences. Certainly, if there is outright harassment or abuse going on, report it. But if your main issue is with your boss narcissistic personality, that isnt going to change anytime soon. If you cant or dont want to deal with it long term, it is only logical to explore other potential opportunities in your job area.Hopefully some of these points apply to your situation. Remember, your mantra needs to be Accept that your boss wont change, and make your life as easy as you can. Letting a narcissistic boss ruin your day or your life isnt fair to youThis article originally appeared on Talkspace.